匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 教育與參考考試 · 1 0 年前

能不能幫我改ㄧ下英文作文

這是我練習的英文作文,題目是An Unforgettable Trip,我自己不是很會寫,希望有心人士可以幫助我修改一些錯誤的地方,不管是文法上還是修辭句子上的問題都可以,謝謝!

An Unforgettable Trip

I took a wonderful trip with my friends last summer vacation, we had visited the Inter gulf(內灣) by riding motorcycle together . It was an unforgettable trip that I remember well.

It was Friday evening when we graduate from school , we fell so sad that we probably can’t meet each other again in the future , so we decide to make a trip that can make a profound impression on each of us . We were all excited about the trip and clean up our classroom quickly. We left school at 6:00 in order to get an early start , It took us one hours to ride the motorcycle to get there . When arrived , We walked the street and visit the drawbridge , the scenery was so beautiful I discover that many people had came here for taking picture .

We stayed for all night and had a wonderful time . We played in the river and catch the fish , we also ate the Zongzi(粽子) which is very famous in locality . At night , we sat in an restaurant and have a chat about much interesting things in the past , and the time passed unconsciously with our laughing .

When it was time to leave, we were very sad . We all wanted to stay longer , but we had to go back home . Then we riding the motorcycle for the trip home , we said goodbye and huge each one for gift that hope our friendship can be lasting . When we arrived home. We were tired and sleepy, but we were happy.

3 個解答

評分
  • Trista
    Lv 6
    1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    大大你好:

    看完你寫的文章,我覺得就global來看沒有太大的問題,

    所以我就針對local的來幫你修改

    Global: content, organization

    Local: grammar

    An Unforgettable Trip

    I took a wonderful trip with my friends last summer vacation, we had visited the Inter gulf(內灣) by riding scooters together . It was an unforgettable trip that I had ever remembered.

    It was Friday evening when we graduated from school, we felt so sad that we probably can’t meet each other again in the future, so we decided to take a trip that could make a deep impression on each of us. We were all excited about the trip and cleaned up our classroom quickly. We left school at 6:00 in order to get an early start. It took us one hour to ride the scooters to get there. When arriving, We walked the street and visited the drawbridge, I discover the scenery was so beautiful that many people had come here for taking pictures.

    We stayed for all night and had a wonderful time. We played in the river and caught the fish, we also ate the Zongzi(粽子) which was very famous there. At night, we sat in a restaurant and had a chat about many interesting things in the past, and the time passed unconsciously with our laughing.

    When it was time to leave, we were very sad. We all wanted to stay longer, but we had to go back home. Then we rode the scooters home, we said goodbye and hugged each one for gift that hope our friendship can be lasting. When we arrived home, we were tired and sleepy, but we were happy.

    大致上都是時態問題,因為作者描述的是過去

    所以要使用過去式

    還有motorcycle是指重機

    如果大大是騎重機,那就不用改

    如果是普通型機車,建議用scooter

    還有就是標點符號的問題

    句與句之間,空兩隔

    以上如果還有問題可以再問我J

    Hope Helps!!

  • 匿名使用者
    7 年前

    我一直都有過敏狀況,是最近才知道要用防螨寢具的,因為醫師建議我用,我也考慮了很久,想說要買就買最好的,上個月趁網站有折扣的時候買了一組【北之特】防蹣(螨)寢具來用用看,真沒想到~~現在覺得過敏狀況有改善多了。雖然比一般的貴一些,不過~真值得!

  • 1 0 年前

    這個電話一定能幫你解決 :0966-305198

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