英文劇本,誰能幫我改一下阿!!我文法不好阿~~

A: Hey, Jenny. You look have something on your mind. What happened to you?

B: I can’t go out anymore.

A: Why?

B: I just came home late and my parents were very angry.

A: What time did you come home?

B: I came home at 11:00 P.M.

A: What! I think it is very early. I usually come home at 12:00 P.M.

B: Your parents are so nice.

A: Really? But they have some rules that I should observe.

B: So tell me about it.

A: Okay! First, I have to keep my school work at the top of the class. Second, I have to take care of my pets. Third, I am not allowed to play the computer over two hours. Fourth, I have to do all the housework. For example, washing the dishes, cooking and so on. Fifth, I can’t fall in love with anybody in the school. Sixth, I have to give my salary to them.

B: All your salary?

A: Yes! No doubt.

B: Wow! Your parents are picky.

A: I agree. And do you have any rules?

B: I don’t have any rules.

A: Why you have been punished by your parents?

B: Because I went out with a man and came home late.

A: Oh, somebody falling in love.

B: Don't be silly. Just friend.

A: Here comes the teacher.

B: Go back your seat quickly.

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    其實你的vocabulary和grammar都很不錯,但既然是劇本,有些地方我改成比較口語化(括號內的是改後的對白)

    A: Hey, Jenny. You look have something on your mind. What happened to you?

    (Hey, Jenny. You look like something's on your mind. What's wrong with you?)

    B: I can’t go out anymore.(go out可轉成 hang out,更貼切出外玩樂逛街的意思)

    A: Why?

    B: I just came home late(這句會有剛剛晚了回家的意思) (I came home late last night)and my parents were very angry.

    A: What time did you come home?

    B: I came home at 11:00 P.M.

    A: What! I think it is very early.(I think...這句沒有錯,只是個人認為改後更像在對話) (That's very early to me.)I usually come home at 12:00 P.M.

    B: Your parents are so nice.

    A: Really? But they have some rules that I should (must會顯得那些rules是必要的)observe.

    B: So tell me about it(原句沒問題,除了it).(Rules?What rules?)

    A: Okay! (okay在說的時候可能有點奇怪,建議不用)First, I have to keep my school work at the top of the class. Second, I have to take care of my pets. Third, I am not allowed to play the computer over two hours(應說明多久能用two hours)(加a day). Fourth, I have to do all the housework. For example(like可以取代for example), washing(wash)(simple present tense就可以了) the dishes, cooking(cook the meals) and so on. Fifth, I can’t fall in love with anybody in the school. Sixth(And會更生動,但要拖長點), I have to give my salary to them.

    B: All your salary?

    A: Yes! No doubt.(Undoubtedly)(一個代表無庸置疑的字就可以了)

    B: Wow! Your parents are (加so可加強語氣)picky.

    A: I agree. And do you have any rules?(原句沒錯)(How about you,have you got any rules?)

    B: I don’t have any rules.(I got no rules會較口語化.)

    A: Why you have been punished by your parents?(So why your parents punished you?)

    B: Because I went out with a man(boy)(如果那人是‘男生’就是‘boy’較貼切) and came home late.

    A: Oh(Ops會活潑點………), somebody falling(fell) in love.

    B: Don't be silly. Just friend.(雖然Just friend也對,不過如果老外說只是朋友就十之八九說後面那句)(Friends only.)

    A: Here comes the teacher.

    B: Go back your seat quickly. (Go back to your seat,chop-chop!)(這句較生動,可以用悄悄話的語氣…………)

  • 1 0 年前

    上網找文法解說氣就好ㄌ

  • 1 0 年前

    A: Hey, Jenny. You look have something on your mind. What happened to you?

    這句怪怪的You look have something on your mind

    look have雙動詞 不能放在一起唷

    如果是說:珍妮 你怎麼了? 好像有心事的樣子

    就用這樣好了

    --->Hey, Jenny. Is there anything happened to you?You look frustrated.

    嘿!珍妮。什麼是發生了嗎?你看起來好沮喪。

    B: I can’t go out anymore.

    A: Why?

    B: I just came home late and my parents were very angry.

    A: What time did you come home?

    B: I came home at 11:00 P.M.

    A: What! I think it is very early. I usually come home at 12:00 P.M.

    B: Your parents are so nice.

    A: Really? But they have some rules that I should observe.

    B: So tell me about it.

    A: Okay! First, I have to keep my school work at the top of the class. Second, I have to take care of my pets. Third, I am not allowed to play the computer over two hours. Fourth, I have to do all the housework. For example, washing the dishes, cooking and so on. Fifth, I can’t fall in love with anybody in the(the拿掉) school. Sixth, I have to give my salary to them.

    B: All your salary?

    A: Yes! No doubt.

    B: Wow! Your parents are picky.

    A: I agree. And do you have any rules?

    B: I don’t have any rules.

    A: Why you have been punished by your parents?

    B: Because I went out with a man and came home late.

    A: Oh, somebody falling in love.

    B: Don't be silly. Just friend.

    A: Here comes the teacher.

    B: Go back your seat quickly.

    應該這些小問題而已^^

    希望對你有幫助

    我是芒果

    參考資料: 芒果的英文~
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