police 發問時間: 教育與參考考試 · 10 年前

英文作文 幫修改

A Dozing Dream in Class

My most impressive experience of dozing dream in class was once on Physics .It was lesson about some boring bases and lot of

mathematics problems.Every student was listening attentively to the class,except me.

I was still sitting not lying prone,but I was dozing off and having a dream.In my dream,I missed a monster with terrible face who was catching me.

I can't held my mind with a shrill and loud voice .The next way,arounds became entirely quiet.I was seddenly waking up around all classmates and teacher watching.Much to my embarrassment,I didn't know whether I send a loud voice in the class or just in the dream.

幫我改正文法和單字,順便列出我需要補足的地方.

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  • 10 年前
    最佳解答

    My most unforgetable experience of dozing dream was in Physics. It was a lesson of basic physic concepts and lots of boring formula calculations. The whole class paid great attention to lecture except that I did not. While I was sitting there in the classroom as if I was awake but in fact I was dozing off and had a dream. In that dream, there was a monster with terrible looking face chasing after me and trying to catch me. I was horrified by the monster and screamed out loud. As soon as I was awakened by my horrifying dream; I immediately noticed unusual quietness in the classroom while my teacher and all classmates were starring at me and wondering what my shouting was all about. By far that dozing dream in Physic class was the most embarrassing experience of my school life.

    *******

    What you need to work on is composition of paragraph, sequence, and cause and effect.

    Compostion of a paragraph consists 1. Topic sentence(Opening sentence), 2. Supporting sentences, 3. Concluding sentence.

    1. Topic sentence - a sentence gives your readers a general idea of what this paragraph is all about.

    2. Supporting sentences - At least 3 or more sentence to support your topic sentence. These sentences gives your readers reasons and logics behind your topic sentence.

    3. Concluding sentence - a sentence that concludes topic and supporting sentences all together.

    Sequence: you need to clearly identify the events that took place in time and logical order.

    Cause and effect: You need to point out the causes that make the results. For example: Why physic class is boring? It is boring because of ....... In fact, I think you did pretty good in this Cause and Effect. You illustrated well.

    In sum, I do believe this paragraph is your authentic work and you must have spent a lot of time on this paragraph. Good job on structuring your opening sentence and I like the cause and effect in your paragraph. Anyway, good luck and hope my response helps you a bit.

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