匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 教育與參考考試 · 1 0 年前

自編的英語繪本,請幫我檢察文法錯誤!謝謝!急~(2)

Page 8

During his serious illness, the man stayed indoors.

Looking outside the window,he felt weak and helpless.

Page 9

The man found the Death.

“Please help me. I want to be a healthy man.” The man begged to the Death.

“Yes,you could get your health back. But…….” Answered the Death.

“You would lose someone who was your dearest family.” the Death continued.

“Oh! No! It wasn’t true.” He could hardly believe his ears.

Page 10

That day,it was his mother’s birthday.

“I wished my son was happy,healthy and……” Mother prayed to God for help.

Page 11

They enjoyed the happy time of birthday together.

Suddenly,there seemed to be something the matter with the man’ mother.

“ I…,I…. H~e~l~p me!” Mother breathed a sign of pain.

The scene scared the man out of wit.

Page 12

“My mother was dead. My mother was dead.” The man cried and shouted with pain.

Page 13

The man expressed regret over the death of his mother.

“I must have strong will and work hard to fight against the Death.” Murmured the man.

Page 14

The Death will be staring at someone.

已更新項目:

非常感謝!獲益良多!是否可幫忙page1 ~ page7

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    第1句 During his serious illness, the man stayed indoors.

    his 跟the man 換位置較好 讓讀者知道它是誰在用代名詞

    第2句 Yes,you could get your health back

    用 Yes, you could be healthy again, but.... 比較好

    第3句 You would lose someone who was your dearest family(這裡家member比較好 這樣聽起來她全家人都要遭殃).

    Page 14 我不懂為何這樣說 可能是沒圖片吧

    其他都寫的不錯喔!!

    參考資料: 出國3年的我
  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    Page 8

    During the man's serious illness, he stayed in his room.

    這只是較合理的描述

    既是重病

    留在房內是筆室內較合理

    2010-10-10 21:04:57 補充:

    Looking outside the window,he felt weak and helpless.

    文法上並無錯誤

    請再思考一下

    看著外面

    他覺得虛弱和無助

    會不會接得不順

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