匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

請英文高手幫我校正我的自傳

這是我申請作為德國的交換學生所寫的英文自傳,請各位高手幫我檢查是否有文法錯誤、語意不通順、措詞失當等問題,真的十分感謝各位拔刀相助!

My name is Chi-Hsin Chen.I come from Kaohsiung,the south of Taiwan. I have lived in Kaohsiung for sixteen years since I wasborn. My hometown is a place which is full of sunlight and passion, and it perfectlyaffected me a lot, it made my mind filled with rich emotions.I love reading the novels and theliterature. By reading them, I could know a lot about the world , other people’slife, experience, thought, what they suffered, beautiful and ill-favoured sidesof the society. So I treasure the beautiful things in the world such askindness, the pure human nature, the music, and all the amazing works of God.At the start, I couldn’t make up my mind tojoin the exchange student program because I was afraid of unknowablecircumstances. But there was a saying flashed into my mind , that is, “Unlessyou try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will nevergrow.” So I firmed up my decision from then on.I love reading poetry, and many of myfavorite poets had traveled or studied abroad in order to find the inspiration ,widenthe views of the world, or create new viewpoints. These models influenced medeeply, making me put my faith in the future. I purely believe that studyingabroad would vary my life and knowledge, even increase my wisdom.When I arrive Germany, the first thing I wantto do may be sleep practically because of time differences. But in ideal, Iwould like to know more about my host family and my host country, including thelocal manners and a bit of common sense I should understand in Germany.I am really excited about the humanity and theartistry there, I think Germany is a wonderful place that could help mecultivate my mind. Thank you for your time.

已更新項目:

不知道為什麼,很多單字PO上來都黏在一起,不好意思麻煩各位的眼力。

3 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    I tried to high light the changes I have made, but it is too many and difficult to show the deletions .. so you just have to compare word by word what the changes are ..You are pretty good .. If I could be frank, your problem is with the substance of what you want to say, not how you are saying it or whether you are saying them right or not .. Well, after all, there is only so much one can say nice things about oneself.

    My name is Chi-Hsin Chen. I come from Kaohsiung, southern Taiwan. I have lived in Kaohsiung for sixteen years since I was born. My hometown is a place which is full of sunlight and passion, and it affected me a great deal. It filled my mindwith rich emotions.I love reading novels and literatures. By reading them, I would learn a lot about the world , other people's lives, experiences, thoughts, and what they have suffered, and the good and evil sides of society. I treasure the beautiful things in the world such as kindness, human nature, music, and all the amazing works of God.At the start, I couldn’t make up my mind to join the exchange student program because I was afraid of unknowable circumstances. But soon a saying flashed into my mind , that is, “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.” So I firmed up my decision from then on.I love reading poetry, and many of my favorite poets had traveled or studied abroad in order to find the inspiration, widened their views of the world, or develop new viewpoints. These models influenced me deeply, keeping my faith in the future. I came to believe that studying abroad would enrich my life and knowledge, hopefully increasing my wisdom.

    2010-12-15 09:55:55 補充:

    If and when I arrive Germany, the first thing I need to do may be sleeping, as a matter of practicality due to the time difference. Ideally, I would like to know more about my host family and my host country,

  • 1 0 年前

    原則上, 語法上較弱, 總體文章內容欠佳.

    深度亦不夠.

    有需要代寫在與我們連絡吧, 依字收費, 價廉物美.

    EMAIL: eagnorlee@hotmail.com . (個人經驗)

  • 1 0 年前

    Good job!!!! H.M.C.

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