Aki 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 1 0 年前

可以幫我改一下英文作文嗎

這是我用去年學測的作文題目寫的

麻煩幫我看一下哪裡有錯

或是告訴我該怎麼修會比較好

感激不盡!!

In the evening, Andy was doing his homework in a noddle stand owned by his mom.

Then came a middle-aged man dress a business suit; he ordered a bowl of noddles.

Andy chatted with him; the man told Andy that he was going to buy a car for his son, who just learned to drive a car.

After the meal, the man asked Andy how to go to the train station because his son was meeting him there at soon. After he left for a while, Andy and his mother found that there was a big bag on the chair; it must be the man's. They open the bag and was shocked by what was there; which is a lot of cash. At the same time, the man arrived at the train station, finding something was wrong; the bag was gone. As he was in a flurry; his cell phone rang.It's Andy and his mother; they found the man's business card in the bag and called him.

Fortunately, the man got his money back. After thanking Andy and his mother, he thought that it is really a close call!

已更新項目:

我上面

"They open the bag and was shocked by what was there; which is a lot of cash. "打錯了

原本是寫

"They opened the bag and was shocked by what there was, which was a lot of cash. "

不過不知道這句有沒有錯

還有"It's"和"it is"應該改成"It was"."it was"才對

2 個已更新項目:

FST1001:

謝謝你

不過能說明一下原本的為什麼錯嗎?

像是

In the evening為什麼這裡不能用?

mom為什麼開頭不用大寫,前面也不用加his?

為什麼不能用分號?

was going to buy為什麼不對?而且不是改成would buy而是will be buying?

was meeting為什麼不行?(有人說meet在過去進行式會有過去未來式的意思)

為什麼不是a bowl of noodles而是a bowl of noodle?

之類的...

麻煩您了

2 個解答

評分
  • 1 0 年前
    最佳解答

    One evening, Andy was doing his homework at mom's noddle stand.

    There came a middle-aged man dressed a business suit. He ordered a bowl of noddle.

    Andy chatted with him. The man told Andy that he will be buying a car for his son, who just learned the car.

    After the meal, the man asked Andy how to go to the train station because his son will meet him there soon. After he left, Andy and mom found a big bag left on the chair. They believe it must belong to the man. They opened the bag and surprisingly found a lot of cash there. Meanwhile, the man found his bag has gone when he arrived at the train station. As he hurrily looked for the bag, he received a cellphone call from Andy because they found his phone number on the business card.

    Fortunately, the man got his money back. He expressed his thank to Andy and his mom. He is so lucky. It is really close to lose the bag.

    2010-12-20 16:07:55 補充:

    其實您已經寫得不錯了. 英文作文沒有對與錯.只有順與不順的問題. In the evening=在晚上,One evening=有一天晚上. noddle stand owned by his mom=他媽媽所開的麵攤,at mom's noodle stand=在媽媽的麵攤, 這都只是句子順與不順的問題. 英文習慣上很少用分號,技術期刊才較多."was going to buy", "would buy"文法上沒錯, 但句中說起來很奇怪,像"以前正打算買一部車"的意思."was meeting him"也是類似."a bowl of noodles"-正確的,不好意思

  • 匿名使用者
    1 0 年前

    其實

    看得出回答著的破綻

    也是功力不錯的表現

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