元淵 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 9 年前

幫我看看我的英文自傳有沒有錯?

我英文沒很好,

但最近找工作都不順,

所以看了網路範例寫了這篇英文自傳,

希望大大們幫我看看,

有沒有文法或是什麼地方不對的,

如果可以再給我點建議就更好了,謝謝^^~

My name is Yuan-Yuan Li, I was born in Zhanghua, on February 15th, 1986. I spent my childhood and school years there. I have three siblings. My father is a photographer and my mother is a housewife. As a student, I tried to get good grades at school. Optics is my favorite subject because light is very beautiful , and I want to know it. It's been said, "actions speak louder than words". I agree with them. Therefore, I try to keep my promise. Life is more than school so in my free time, I like internet access and listens to music. By internet access I can gain more information and knowledge. I also enjoy listens to music. It helps me ease my stress. During my studies, I went to tae kwon do club. Although my school work load was heavy, I still kept a balance between my studies and extracurricular activities. I am a mature person and I am confident that I can pursue my goals. In order to achieve them, I accept all challenges and never give up. I believe that I will continue being a friendly and effectiveness person. With my strong determination, I can fulfill my goals in the near future. I believe that I could be a productive member as an assistant engineer and to grow proud with you.

已更新項目:

不好意思,我已經畢業了說,

而且當兵完剛退伍,

所以目前是不在學校的0.0

2 個已更新項目:

嗯...

我也覺得我這篇沒寫很好= =

可是我的英文真的不怎麼樣@@"

能寫出這樣也是參考網路範例,

至於你說把我的中文自傳請人翻譯嗎@@??

其實我也有想過,

但是又怕會給人一種請人代筆的感覺,

好像也不是很好吧@@??

3 個解答

評分
  • 9 年前
    最佳解答

    Are you a student? Your school offers many sources whatever classes or teachers to use. Don't hesitate to ask in school because the sources are free for students.

    Employers are strict with the employees more because they want to lower the costs. Your teachers would give you more useful information.

    2011-01-11 20:36:53 補充:

    Could you search some information online because I find out some problems in your autobiography? I mean that the contents of the article cannot persuade your boss to hire you. Another way you can post the Chinese version first and then ask people to translate it.

    2011-01-16 13:02:46 補充:

    If your contents of article is not rich to persuade your writers, how come your boss would keep you. Maybe you misunderstand what I mean. I find your writing is vague and misses the key point to show your ability on work. Check the grammar is easy but you would want your writing to be good, right.

    參考資料: 外文系
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  • 9 年前

    Optics is my favorite subject because light is very beautiful , and I want to know it.

    I personally think you should change it to" Optics is my favorite subject because I always though light is very beautiful."

    i don't think you need the rest.

    Life is more than school so in my free time, I like internet access and listens to music. By internet access I can gain more information and knowledge. I also enjoy listens to music. It helps me ease my stress.

    I like the internet, and listening to music. Through the internet i learn many things and knowledge, I also enjoy listening to music, it helps ease my stress

    I think thats about it, except for punctuations, you missed out quite a few comas and such, but this is actually pretty good, it's fluent enough, and i hope you would achieve your many goals.

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  • 9 年前

    I think you have to pay more attention to grammatical structure in your writing. Please be carefull in the use of Tense, Adjective and Adverb.

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