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志彬 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 9 年前

英文自傳,幫幫我改錯以及變通順等等

如題

I was born in Danshui.  In my memory, my father had been working as a mechanic of scooters when I was a child.  It can be said that repairing scooters has brought me up.  After graduating from junior high school, my brother and I had gradually grew mature, we could help parents to share workload of repairings, and learn how to make dealings with customers.  At this learning process, because my father and brother had to go out for repairing scooters, I had to run this scooter shop by myself from oil changing to engine maintenance.  As to apprentices, not only taught them to repair scooters but also how to make interactions with customers.  In the meanwhile I always tell myself ”things are not absolute”, must constantly review myself.Although I have a skill of repairing scooters, my personality is tending to new things, innovations and like to know the trends of global, then IT and finance industries have become my interests.  Before beginning senior summer vacation, I asked my family that I wanted to stop housework to prepare for work in the near future.

1 個解答

評分
  • 阿輔
    Lv 4
    9 年前
    最佳解答

    你好!

    I was born in Danshui. In my memory, my father had been working(不用過去式完成進行,過去完成即可) as a mechanic of scooters(去掉複數) when I was a child. It can be said that repairing scooters has brought me up.(改成My dad brought me up by repairing scooters. ) After graduating from junior high school, my brother and I had(改成have) gradually grew mature(改成behaved maturer), we(大寫) could(改成would like to) help parents to share(sharing) workload of repairings, and learn how to make(改成have) dealings with customers. At this learning process(改成During the time of learning), because(去掉because) my father and brother had to go out for repairing(改成fixing,以免相同字重複過多) scooters, I had to run(改成take care of) this scooter shop by myself.(句號,換句) (Aside)from oil changing(改成changing oil,) I needed(加上)to engine maintenance(改成mending engines). As to apprentice, not only taught them to repair scooters but also how to make interactions with customers.(as a apprentice, I have not only learnt of mending scooters but also knew what to interact with customers as well.) In the meanwhile I (這是在那時候所以+have=完成式)always(去除always) tell(reminded) myself ”things are not absolute”(加上at every turn.) (加上Therefore I)must constantly(去除constantly) review myself(加上from time to time.).Although I have a skill of repairing scooters, my personality is tending to(沒有正在傾向改成leans towards) new things, innovations and like to know(enjoy knowing) the trends of global,(句號) then(大寫) IT and finance industries have become(不用完成式此為現在式are) my interests. Before beginning(改成starting) senior summer vacation, I asked my family that I wanted to stop(改成put a halt on chores) housework(去除) to(for) prepare(加上-ing) for work in the near future.

    參考資料: text book
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