發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 9 年前

英檢初級復試寫作

圖片參考:http://imgcld.yimg.com/8/n/AD07013510/o/1012042600...

Yesterday, Wendy had a date with her boyfridend, Tim.

When she was waiting for him on the park bench, Tim

also behind of her.Wendy waited for a long time, but Tim

still didn't come. Suddenly, a man held her, Wendy

thank it is a satyr. Then, she began shoughted and hit

him. Ten minutes later, she discovered the man was her

boyfriend. But it was too late, Jim was hurt everywhere

in his body.

請大加建議下哪些地方需要修改~

3 個解答

評分
  • 9 年前
    最佳解答

    uncle sean大師,原PO並沒有弄錯,請注意他最後寫的"she discovered the man was her boyfriend"。文中"a man"出現的時候是站在女主角的角度,她不知道自己男友已經到了,以為是其他人,所以用"a man"有什麼問題?就好比寫中文的時候說“突然有個男人從Wendy背後抱緊她,Wendy以為遇到色狼,放聲尖叫,看清楚後才發現原來是自己男友Tim”,難道在這句話裡面的“有個男人(a man)”也是第三者嗎?

    2012-04-26 05:56:40 補充:

    以下是我按照你寫的原文重新整理一下語法及單詞而已,請笑納。

    Yesterday, Wendy had a date wit her boyfriend, Tim. When she was waiting for him in the park, Tim was right behind her hiding under the flowers. Wendy waited for a long time, but still didn't see Tom come. Suddenly, she was hugged by a man from behind. Wendy thought it was a satyr, so she shouted "help" and beat the man. Ten minutes later, she realised that the man was actually her boyfriend, Tim. But unfortunately it was too late, poor Tim was hurt all over the body.

    其實故事情節你已經寫出來了,只是有些地方需要注意一下。首先,動詞時態要小心點,要記得這是發生在昨天,是過去了的事,所以要記得將動詞過去式化。二來角色要分明,立場要清楚,比如"Wendy waited for a long time, but Tim still didn't come"這句,很容易讓人產生混淆,因為事實上Tim "did" come,只是"Wendy didn't know"而已,所以你寫的時候要考慮是站在哪個角度上寫。個人建議你應該寫之前先用中文模擬一遍,如果連中文都不通,英文怎麼通呢?第三點,用詞方面我做了少許改動,其實原文中的單詞並沒有什麼大問題,但如果能改一下就更好了。像"discover"一詞,的確是解作“發現”沒錯,但discover一般不是這樣用的,在文中的情況下應該是"realise"比較接近。

    參考資料: nobodyfantasy
  • 9 年前

    Yesterday, Wendy had a date with her boyfridend, Tim. When she waited for him in the park , Tim was behind

    her.Wendy had waited for a while, but he didn't arrive. Suddenly, a man hugged her, Wendy thought that it was a satyr. She was shouting and started hitting him. Ten minutes later, she discovered the man was her boyfriend. But it was too late, Tim had been injured already.

    2012-04-26 00:45:05 補充:

    hug ged →hugged

    2012-04-26 00:45:38 補充:

    hittin g→ hitting

    參考資料: 我的淺見,我建議你可以去找老師改
  • 9 年前

    我覺得你完全理解反了這三個圖和解說的意思,從頭到尾就只有Wendy 和Tim兩人,沒有你說三人(a man)

    如有異議,歡迎討論。

    2012-04-26 00:36:07 補充:

    sorry for my typo

    沒有你說的第三人(a man)

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