發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 8 年前

我的一段英文科技論文,可以幫忙修改文法嗎?

寫了一段英文科技論文,自己寫完一直覺得似乎有哪邊怪怪的,因此寫請高手幫忙修改文法,特別是動詞型態部分。

這是英文:

This eletrolytic coating showed a dense structure and purity of phase while the MAO coatings, the most commercially applied protection on Mg alloys, produced at high voltage in the anodizing process not only increased the energy and equipment cost but induced many pores and cracks in oxide coatings caused by sparking phenomenon and gas bubble on the sample surface and thus sometimes need further sealing treatment in order to perfect the protective property.

附上中文翻譯,因為有不少專有名詞:

這電解塗層展現出緻密結構與高純度,相較之下MAO塗層(目前最商業化之鎂合金應用保護方法)必須在高電壓的陰極化處理程序下製作,不僅增加了能源與設備成本,也導致火花放電現象與樣品表面氣泡產生,造成氧化塗層不少孔洞與裂縫,也因此為了使保護特性更加完美,有時候需更進一步的密封處理。

已更新項目:

感謝雲凍改寫的英文

......, MAO coating (which needs to be .....not only increasing ......but also inducing...... make the protective property perfect as well.)

想請1.問括弧是否框錯地方呢? 2. 為什麼increase跟induce要用進行式呢? 感謝~

5 個解答

評分
  • James
    Lv 5
    8 年前
    最佳解答

    覺得你的英文程度很高, 自己完全有能力寫好.

    不過有個建議, 是不是能把這個句子拆成兩部分寫. 先說前者沒有後者的缺點, 之後用另一個句子詳述後者的缺點. 比方說:

    This electrolytic coating showed a dense structure and purity of phase [without the problems associated with] the MAO coatings, the most commercially applied protection on Mg alloys. [The MAO coatings are] produced at high voltage in the anodizing process, [which] not only [increases] the energy and equipment cost but [also induces] many pores and cracks in oxide coatings caused by sparking phenomenon and gas bubble on the sample surface and thus sometimes [requires] further sealing treatment in order to perfect the protective property.

  • 8 年前

    感謝雲凍改寫的英文

    想請1.問括弧是否框錯地方呢? 2. 為什麼increase跟induce要用進行式呢? 感謝~

  • 雲凍
    Lv 6
    8 年前

    The electrolytic coating gets dense structure with high purity economically and effectively, compared to the most popular commercialized way in magnesium alloy protection, MAO coating (which needs to be implemented under high voltage during anodizing process,

    2012-08-03 13:25:38 補充:

    not only increasing the cost of energy and equipment but also inducing porosity and seam due to the sparking phenomenon and bobbles appearing on the surface, sometimes with advanced sealing process to make the protective property perfect as well.)

  • bull
    Lv 5
    8 年前

    This eletrolytic coating showed (改為shows)a dense structure and purity of phase whilethe MAO coatings, the most commercially applied protection on Mg alloys,produced(改為produces) at high voltage in the anodizingprocess not only increased(改為increases) the energyand equipment cost but induced(Cinduces) many pores and cracks in oxidecoatings caused by sparking phenomenon and gas bubble on the sample surface andthus sometimes need(改為needs) further sealingtreatment in order to perfect the protective property.版主的文章結構非常完整, 只是建議你把不變的事實用現在簡單式來表現比較恰當,就如The sun rises from the east and goesdown to the west一樣.

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  • T
    Lv 6
    8 年前

    你翻譯的主要問題是 run-on sentences.

    也就是說你把好幾句英文混在一起˙ 讀者無法看清楚每一句的開頭跟結尾˙

    2012-08-03 08:29:17 補充:

    建議你把那段中文˙ 拆成四句或是五句˙ 那樣就比較容易翻成順暢的英文˙

    2012-08-04 02:41:28 補充:

    讓我當壞人一下˙ 目前的答案跟意見都有同樣問題 run-on sentences. 這是中國人易犯的翻譯錯誤因為中文句子結構內可以用很多逗點˙ 但是英文句子大部分都需要用句點來結束一個句子才能符合文法˙

    2012-08-04 04:34:07 補充:

    我不修改你使用的專用英文名詞˙ 我只修改你的英文句子結構˙

    This eletrolytic coating showed a dense structure and purity of phase.

    2012-08-04 04:39:08 補充:

    On the contrary, the MAO coatings, which is the most common protection on Mg alloys in commercial uses, must be applied at high voltage in an anodizing process.

    2012-08-04 04:45:01 補充:

    In addition to increased energy consumption and higher equipment cost, such anodizing process induced many pores and cracks in oxide coatings that were caused by discharging sparks and gas bubbles on the surface.

    2012-08-04 04:48:14 補充:

    In order to perfect the protective property in an anodizing process, further sealing treatments are sometimes used.

    2012-08-04 04:53:21 補充:

    注意大部分動詞都是過去式因為你原來用過去式˙

    你也可以考慮把動詞都改成簡單現在式˙ 主要是看你想要主重表達甚麼˙

    要是你想注重表達你做過的實驗過程˙ 應該用過去式˙

    要是你想表達你研究出來的結論˙ 可以用簡單現在式˙

    重要的是你的整篇文章必須一至都用過去式˙ 或是都用簡單現在式

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