匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 教育與參考考試 · 8 年前

全民英檢初級寫作修改

請問各位英文專家或老師,我的英文作文有沒有文法上的錯誤,或是任何不正確的地方?感謝各位!順便告訴我這篇文章在英檢初級大概可以拿多少分數,謝謝大家!

Tom’s accident

Tom and Mark are classmate in the same college. This Sunday,Tom wanted borrow a motorcycle from Mark, because Tom never had been riding motorcycle after eighteen years old. So Tom asked for Mark, and promised him the new motorcycle would keep in good condition. After one week ago, Tom wanted going to mountain and tried the new motorcycle, so he rode Mark’s new motorcycle on road and went mountain. Tom was very excited and road the motorcycle very fast whole day. When he has prepared going home in night, he still kept the same speed like afternoon.The fast speed led to a accident from himself. Although Tom was nice except dizziness, but the new motorcycle not used at all. Finally, Tom must to said “sorry” to Mark, and afforded the accident responsibility.

已更新項目:

我加了To lose is to learn可以嗎:

When he has prepared going home in night, he still kept the same speed like afternoon. To lose is to learn ,the fast speed led to a accident from himself.

3 個解答

評分
  • 8 年前
    最佳解答

    原句: Tom and Mark are classmate in the same college. This Sunday,Tom wanted borrow a motorcycle from Mark, because Tom never had been riding motorcycle after eighteen years old.

    修改1: are classmates (複數)

    修改2: He wanted "to" borrow a motorcycle from Mark 不定詞want to

    修改3: because Tom had never ridden a motorcycle since he was eighteen.

    原句: So Tom asked for Mark, and promised him the new motorcycle would keep in good condition. After one week ago, Tom wanted going to mountain and tried the new motorcycle, so he rode Mark’s new motorcycle on road and went mountain.

    修改1: Therefore, he asked Mark for borrowing it, and promised to keep it in good condition as well. (善用代名詞) (SoTherefore 連接詞可使用的更完善)

    修改2: 0ne week later 一個禮拜後

    修改3: Tom planned to go to the mountain and tried the new motorcycle

    修改4:so he rode Mark’s new motorcycle on road and went mountain. (全句刪除,多餘的贅字)

    原句: Tom was very excited and road the motorcycle very fast whole day. When he has prepared going home in night, he still kept the same speed like afternoon. The fast speed led to a accident from himself.

    修改1: During his way to the mountain, he was so excited that he rode the motorcycle speedily. (road是”路”,要改roderide的過去式。So…that的用法很基本,考試中使用能拿較高分)

    修改2: Finally, when he prepared to go home, he still kept riding in a high speed.

    修改3: which led to a accident at the end(接連上句) (關代用法)

    原句: Although Tom was nice except dizziness, but the new motorcycle not used at all. Finally, Tom must to said “sorry” to Mark, and afforded the accident responsibility.

    修改1: Although Tom was a nice guy with only carelessness, the new motorcycle was no longer usable at all. (although後面逗點不能+but喔!這是基本文法,不可錯)

    to lose is to learn---贅字,可省

    若是初級的考試,滿分50分我會將分數落點預估在25~35中間

    原因:

    1.字數有到達需求

    2.字彙使用尚可

    3.有些許基本文法錯誤

    4.中文式英文,需扣分

    5.墜字過多,英文寫作先求簡單、易懂,再求完整無誤

    參考資料: 自己~
  • 8 年前

    文章廢話太多

    假使你過程中沒有用字典查單字 大概可以確認是:你單字量OK

    但是 你的單字量 只能應付選擇題 沒辦法應付這種寫作

    盡可能多練習句型,盡可能多記片語

    例如 answer

    要思考的是 the answer to the question

    或是key to the door

    the ticket to the concert

    電梯 elevator

    應該嘗試記「搭電梯」=take an elevator,而非只是知道電梯的單字

    整篇文章是因為單字量充足、文字多,有3級分是OK

    但是不夠簡潔,內容缺乏說服力,錯字多,會影響扣分要素

    2012-08-03 22:47:10 補充:

    再來 多認識句型 盡可能避免中式英文

    什麼是中式英文? 就是照著中文結構去翻成的英文

    例如「智慧型手機可以玩遊戲」

    也許正如預期 大多人會翻:Smart phone can play the games

    但是 用英文角度去想

    這句就變成是"智慧型手機可以自己玩遊戲"

    到底是誰能玩遊戲?

    是人玩遊戲? 還是智慧型手機自己賦予生命力 跳起來玩遊戲?

    正確的應為:Smart phone can be used to play the games

  • 8 年前

    我覺得錯誤太多,受中文影響太多,時間交代混淆,時態也跟著錯。

    建議試著一小句一小句寫,不要寫太長的句子。

    你如果可以提供你的中文原意,我願意幫你修改,因為目前的英文文章裡,很多句子我搞不情楚你要說什麼。

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