Yesterday was Jenny's Birthday.But everyone were busy at the office.So she
guested that everyone forgetten it.Then she went to eat lunch and she was very
disappointed.When she back to office the light was very dark.She was very
confused it. Suddenly everyone stood up and sung bitrhday song to her. And
Jenny was very happy and touching heart.
Mr.Wang drove car to work in a hurry.He was late, so he drove very fast.When
he turned left in a red light.He crushed another car.Safely no one got hurt.The
taxi driver got off the car.And Mr. Wang said sorry to the taxi driver.Everyone is safe.And Mr. wang remembered this and kept in his mind.He will be carefull
In a wonderful day.Dad drove the car took family to picnic.On the way, they go
to gas station for gas.And than they go to park.And have a picnic.How a
wonderful day.Wasn't it!
- 把歐薩克洛迦Lv 58 年前最佳解答
(紅字為修改 - 藍字為錯字 - 灰字是我認為該刪掉的)
Yesterday was Jenny's Birthday. However, everyone were busy at the office, so
she guessed that everyone might forget it. Then she went to eat lunch and she
was felt very disappointed. When it got dark, she came back to the office. She
confused it. Suddenly everyone stood up and sang the birthday song to her.
Finally Jenny felt not only happy but also touched.
這篇寫得不OK ~"~ (可以參照前兩回
b) 時態 (這次錯在亂使用"過去分詞"，並非一般人的錯哦
尾巴可來個HAPPY ENDING (?
此建議不使用everyone 可改her friends
或是同事 = her colleagues
湊字數，順便審美 : not only~~ but also
Mr. Wang drove his car to work in a hurry because of being late. He drove so
fast that He crashed a taxi when turning left at the red light. Safely/Luckily
no one got hurt. Taxi driver got off the car. And Later (on), Mr. Wang said
sorry to the taxi driver. Both of them were safe. Maybe Mr. Wang learned
a lesson, and he would be more carefull while driving next time.
(二) 總結- 3~4級
錯字注意 crash. careful
主詞相同時，可直接when/While/After/Before + Ving (被動就用Vpp
多認識片語 (如later on=後來，還有learn a lesson = 記取教訓
還有句型 ( so..... that...... 太...以致於
On a wonderful day, Dad drove his car and took his family to go
picnicking. On the way to park, they went to a gas station because
of running out of gas first. Than Finally they got the park and
had a picnic. Also, they enjoyed themselves in it. For them, that day
was really a wonderful and pleasant day, wasn't it? (三) 總結- 2.7-3級
because 原本接子句，若要節省一點，可用because of + Ving / N
1) have a good time (+Ving) 或是enjoy oneself都可以，
2) pleasant假若忘記怎拼，可以改happy都無所謂 ( 初級不會因此扣分
3) run out of gas 就是沒油了，因為你字數太少，所以可藉此混充一下(?
5) get the park. get home 意思都有"到達"目的地
2012-08-17 18:12:52 補充：
這算是...興趣吧!?參考資料： 以上僅供參考 有問題→補充意見回答 感恩啦XD