Hoshinoboki 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 8 年前

英文短篇寫作

可以請英文高手幫我看看有沒有文法上的錯誤或者有更好的敘述方式!!

Last Friday, I took a trap to Kaohsiung with my family. When our arrived at the train station in the afternoon, my uncle met us there. On Saturday, it had rained all day, so we stayed and played cards at home. On Sunday, the weather was good, so we go to the beach swimming. We really had a good time.

已更新項目:

To DaSaGwa

非常感謝你的解答,但對於你的解答內容有些疑問是否可以再幫我回答一下

1.(On) Saturday 括號內的是可有可無的嗎?

2.在一篇短文很忌諱使用相同的形容詞嗎?

3Upon這單字我沒看過,這單字的用法是用在甚麼地方上?

4. it had rained 的had是不必要的嗎?

1 個解答

評分
  • 8 年前
    最佳解答

    Last Friday, I took a trip to Kaohsiung with my family. Upon When our arrival at the train station in the afternoon, my uncle was there to meet (greet) us there. (On) Saturday, it had rained all day, so we stayed and played cards at home. (On) Sunday, the weather was good (had turned better), so we went swimming to at the beach swimming. We really had a wonderful good time.

    Using "good time" is nothing wrong, but early you used "weather was good". The word "good" appears twice within a short paragraph, it is not a good idea, so I change it to "wonderful" to avoid repetition.

    2012-09-23 15:09:50 補充:

    1.(On) Saturday 括號內的是可有可無的嗎? YES (but in your case, without it is better)

    2.在一篇短文很忌諱使用相同的形容詞嗎? YES (it gives people an impression that you don't have enough of vocabulary and circle around the same thing)

    2012-09-23 15:12:12 補充:

    3Upon這單字我沒看過,這單字的用法是用在甚麼地方上?

    Upon means "在...後立即" For example:

    He is admitted to hospital upon his arrival.

    2012-09-23 15:14:14 補充:

    4. it had rained 的had是不必要的嗎?

    You can use "had", but the sentence after says "so we stayed ..."

    you are describing a situation that was happening AT THE SAME TIME, so it is better NOT to have "had".

    2012-09-23 15:14:47 補充:

    After all, it was not one thing HAD happened, THEN another thing happened.

    參考資料: self
還有問題?馬上發問,尋求解答。