J-open 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 7 年前

英文作文─練習(20點)

煩請英文高手幫忙批閱,感激不盡。

On the rapidly developmental environment, we just see others disaster as wind. According to the modern moral, we have compassion when the people stuck in the difficulties. Society didn’t be cold .more interactive we do, warmer we feel. Everyone’s ability is limited, though. There are still many injuries waiting for us to find it and take care.

For example, we can smile at others whom across by a street. It’s just a little motivation, but it decorates the busy city and improves an implicit belief to the people who work at the sunrise. We also can volunteer at any foundation. The benevolence will spread the neighbor-

hood. The disasters aren’t imaginable that we saw in the news. Its influence would control the person who grew under his family and the next generation.

We shouldn’t be indifferent to this world any more. As I was abused

by my classmates at my junior high school. I trust that they weren’t mean to hurt me. They just felt fun when I angry at them. On the teen-age period, a boy will be impatient and have ignorant behavior.

After my tolerance, they become mature than before .Everyone might make a mistake sometimes. If he changed his mind and tried to correct the mistake, he would success in the first step.

Let’s make it different today. Don’t be hesitant when you have a motivation to help others. Our relationship doesn’t just like a machine. It doesn’t have an emotion. Trust a small action also can change the world.

已更新項目:

To Jason:

原句:There are still many injuries(what are you trying to say here?) waiting for us to find and take care of.

我想表達的意思─我們仍可以盡力去幫助別人(We still can make an effort to help others)

還有這個字要如何使用阿!

rejuvenating.

1 個解答

評分
  • Jason
    Lv 5
    7 年前
    最佳解答

    ^"No one won't make mistake" presents a double-negative, which is completely wrong.

    2013-04-09 07:16:08 補充:

    樓上has no idea what he's talking about.

    "though雖然放在前面吧" There's no such rule.

    "Thereare still many injuries are waiting for us to find it out and take care." 原文有錯 可是經過更改 更差了

    "No one won’t make mistake." 這已經是not making any sense的境界了.

    While our environment develops rapidly, we often neglect the presence of disasters as if they're just wind blowing by. In terms of conventional morality, we should have compassion for those stuck in difficult times. Society should be more active, providing warmth to those in need. However, an individual's ability is limited. There are still many injuries(what are you trying to say here?) waiting for us to find and take care of.

    If we could just smile at the person across the street, the busy city life could be brightened. Taking a step further, we could also volunteer in organizations and potentially spread the influence in the community.

    The disasters on the news are unimaginable traumatic incidents to those who lived through them. We should not be indifferent. Personally, I believe that those classmates who bullied me during my junior high school years didn't mean to hurt me. Perhaps they found my anger rejuvenating.

    They have grown mature since my tolerance of their abuses. People often make mistakes. The first step to successfully change is to change their mindset in correcting the mistakes.

    Let's make the world different today. Don't hesitate to help others. We aren't emotionless machines. Every small action we take changes the world.

    2013-04-09 07:17:36 補充:

    Correction for my first sentence: While our environment develops rapidly, we often neglect the presence of disasters as if it's just wind blowing by.

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