CloudBurst 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 7 年前

英文作文 希望路過高手指點迷津

以下是我之前寫的英文作文

老師有提到部分文法、單字的使用有問題

但沒有點出問題所在

希望有英文高手能夠點出問題所在

也希望能夠把焦點放在「文法」、「單字」上就好(組織、內容暫且不論)

大概點出明顯的錯誤即可 不用一句一句說明 也不用改寫美化

希望路過高手能夠不吝指導一下 謝謝

Boys versus Girls

The major distinction between boys and girls doesn’t only lie on body but in personality. People have been affected by the environments since they are a baby and so they just act to live up with the expectations of the society. The differences in personality can be observed both on their demeanor and the pattern of thought.

While boys spend less than ten minutes to take a shower, girls spend more than thirty minutes. It’s because boys are prone to do multiple tasks simultaneously and girls prefer to do only one task at once.

Boys always overestimate themselves, which could be learned by the fact that when the boys look at themselves in the mirror, they always think they are good-looking. Moreover, when facing some difficulties, which may even jeopardize their lives, they trust that they would live through it and then carry it out. Of course, the case is different when it comes to girls.

When chatting with friends, boys tend to phrase their sentences with informal words, and girls relatively formal words. For instance, while meeting friends, girls may say, “Oh, dear! You don’t know how much I miss you,” and boys might say, “How come you aren’t dead?” This is the reason why boys are not good at comforting their depressed friends.

Boys are more simple-minded than girls. That is, girls are more sentimental. When meeting friends, girls love to talk about what’s on their minds and boys concentrate on behavioral interaction instead of spiritual intercourse. Girls are more likely to commit suicide when getting upset. However, they usually don’t succeed, because they don’t really want to die, but to draw people’s attention. In spite of the fact that boys are less emotional, should they commit suicide, they are very likely to succeed.

已更新項目:

There are still countless examples, which are too many to be listed one by one. Of course, not every boy or girl meets what have been mentioned above, for everyone has their own backgrounds. A girl could be masculine and a boy could be effeminate as well.

2 個已更新項目:

Generally speaking, everyone has their own feature, and the feature will blend in with the society. And, ultimately, that is who we are now.

3 個已更新項目:

字數有點多 可惜只能給20點 希望路過高手能夠指導一下

先說聲 謝謝了

2 個解答

評分
  • Jason
    Lv 5
    7 年前
    最佳解答

    Boys versus Girls

    The major distinction between boys and girls doesn't lie on body but inpersonality. People have been environmentally affected since they were babies andso they just live up to the expectations of the society. The differences inpersonality can be observed both in terms of demeanor and the pattern ofthought.

    While typical boys spend less than ten minutes to take a shower, girls spendmore than thirty minutes. It’s because boys are prone to do multiple taskssimultaneously, whereas girls prefer to do only one task at once.

    Boys always overestimate themselves, which is exemplified by the fact that whenboys look at themselves in the mirror, they always regard themselves asgood-looking. Moreover, when facing difficulties, which may even jeopardizetheir lives, they carry out plans thinking they would live through theobstacles. Of course, the case is different when it comes to girls.

    When chatting with friends, boys tend to phrase their sentences informally,unlike girls with their formalities. For instance, while meeting friends, girlsmay say, “Oh, dear! You don’tknow how much I miss you,” whereas boys may say, “How come you aren’t dead?” This is the reason why boys are not good at comfortingtheir depressed friends.

    Boys are more simple-minded than girls. That is, girls are more sentimental.When meeting friends, girls love to talk about what’son their minds while boys concentrate on behavioral interactions instead ofspiritual intercourses. Statistically, girls are more likely to commit suicidewhen getting upset. However, they usually don’tsucceed, because they don’t really want to die, but ratheraim to draw people’s attention. In spite of the factthat boys are less emotional, should they commit suicide, they are very likelyto succeed.

    2013-04-10 22:27:25 補充:

    There are still countless examples, which are too many to be listed one by one. Of course, not every boy or girl meets what have been mentioned above, for everyone has his own backgrounds.

    2013-04-10 22:28:38 補充:

    (see comments section)

    2013-04-10 22:29:03 補充:

    I ran out of space.

    (cont.)A girl could be masculine and a boy could be effeminate as well.

    In brief, everyone has his own features that blend in with the society. (Last sentence is redundant because you already generalized what“everyone” has. There is no need to restate that “this is the case

    2013-04-10 22:31:38 補充:

    I'm not sure why certain words got clustered together. I just pasted them from Word. There are no more grammar errors, but make sure you go through the spellings again. eg. inpersonality -> in personality

  • 7 年前

    ---The Error and Correction with Gram.and Vocab need not modifies:-

    The transformation means changing a sentence from one form into another with tense present----past; present---future,etc; The verb patterns with different types, and requests with different forms should be noted.

    ---The major distinction between boys and girls doesn't only relie on body-physical but in personality.

    ---to do one task at a time (not at once.)

    ---and then they could have those confidence to carry them throught (not out.)

    ---they are (more )(not very) likely to succeed.

    ---every boy or girl (interprets--expresses---or suggests) (not meets.)

    ---with the society (subsequently.)

    ----After blending into a society,there is integrate,intermingle that only History could tell.

    ---And ,ultimately that's who (and what ) we are now.

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