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OChange 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 7 年前

英文cover letter 求助

不知道我以下的cover letter 表達是否合宜?

需要加強個人經驗的描述嗎? 例如增加舉例說明之類的

煩請好心人幫忙, 謝謝

Dear Sir/Madam,

I notice that your corporation is in search of XXX. I am writing corresponding to the ad that you post on XXX.com. I have had over 5-year work experiences of sales and marketing after my graduation from the university. My past work experience includes client relation develop and maintain, market intelligence survey, marketing event, exhibition plan and execute, and project timeline control. Rely on my past work experiences, I believe that will be helpful to the position I apply to. My CV both in Chinese and English is enclosed for your reference. Hopefully, I may have the chance to discuss this position needs with you and thanks for your time.

Thank you!

Sincerely,

XXX

已更新項目:

感謝你的回覆和意見, 但是我過去背景有點雜

而且應徵的是trdae marketing executive, need to travel frequently.

所以我想主要針對第二段改寫如下,不知哪裡需要修改:

....

Since my graduation from XXX University, I have been work as a sale representative and marketing specialist in different industries, and that make me have varieties of perspective.

2 個已更新項目:

My main responsibilities include client relation development and maintenance, marketing, exhibition planning and execution, and project schedule control. Some of my achievements are –development of strong relationship with clients with a mount of nearly 100 in 2 years through cold call and visit,

3 個已更新項目:

successfully raise up the sales record up to 110% in a marketing event and accumulation of Inquiries leads over 150 after an exhibition and exposure on internet.

4 個已更新項目:

...bring immediate contributions to your company. Hopefully, I may have the chance to discuss this position needs with you and thanks for your time in advance.

....

5 個已更新項目:

感謝您的意見,

未戰先敗, 我的心態的確要調整

2 個解答

評分
  • 7 年前
    最佳解答

    Dear Mr. AAA (hiring manager), I am writing this in response to your position opening (number 123) forVP of Global Sales. I believe my extensiveexperiences, unique background, and strong enthusiasm qualify me for thatparticular position and will bring significant contributions to the top and thebottom lines of your company.Since my graduation from BBBUniversity, I have been an essential member of the sales force of CCC Company. My main responsibilities in that team includeclient relation development and maintenance, market intelligence, marketing,exhibition planning and execution, and project schedule control. Some of my achievements are – development ofDDD account (USD$20B per annum), maintenance of EEE product marketing (USD$17Bin 2012)...My enclosed CV has acomprehensive list of my other accomplishments and skills that you may beinterested. I would also like toschedule a personal interview to go through them in more details and present toyou how I can bring immediate contributions to your company. I would call you at (800)iam-good on Mondayto schedule a meeting with you.Again, I thank you for yourtime in advance and am looking forward to our meeting sometime next week,

    Sincerely Yours,

    I M Princess

    2013-04-24 01:50:33 補充:

    Being a sales, you need to be aggressive. Waiting for responses is weak. Call them just like you are chasing a sales lead...

    Show it to them starting from the covering letter.

    Take no prisoner (and marry her).

    2013-04-26 08:29:39 補充:

    Since my graduation from XXX University, I have been working as a sales representative and marketing specialist in multiple industries. That expanded my vision on the economy in general.

    2013-04-26 08:31:26 補充:

    My main responsibilities include client development and maintenance, marketing, exhibition planning and execution, and project schedule control. Some of my achievements are – development of strong relationship with more than 200 clients in 2 years through cold call and visit,

    2013-04-26 08:33:26 補充:

    increased the sales record by 110% in a marketing event and added sales leads over 150 after an exhibition and promotion over Internet.

    2013-04-26 08:36:03 補充:

    ...bring immediate contributions to your company. Hopefully, I may have the chance to discuss this position needs with you and thanks for your time in advance.

    too weak, lose this. Why do you refuse to be strong and fight for what you wanted? Stop using hopefully.

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  • 7 年前

    在國外或是外商公司,cover letter 是求職最重要的一部分,不好的cover letter,有些人資的人根本就不看你的履歷與自傳了。

    如果說自傳是著重於自己,那麼Cover letter就是著重於公司

    你的cover letter 有點短,最少要A4一半以上,多談論一些你有多了解這家公司與他所在的產業,再來就是寫出你的能力如何在該職位或該公司發揮得更好。

    2013-04-24 01:35:24 補充:

    而且內容大多在講你自己,我相信這些在你的自傳與resume裡都有。cover letter 最大的作用就是要直接的告訴公司你了解他們,你有能力加入他們,讓人資的人對你感興趣,進而去讀你的自傳與履歷。

    加油囉

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