阿洋 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 8 年前

麻煩英文高手,幫我檢查一下,這篇文章,哪裡需要做修正的。

The advantage of using smart phone

Early phase, people use cell phone which has call and send message, but nowadays, smart phone has different function likeness little computer. Such as, line internet, play games, Global positioning system, send E-mail, watch television and application. Application offer to different software and we can download to smart phone.

Smart phone has funny functions, when we feel boring, we can use application download games to smart phone that is very friendly. Just like, angry bird that application of create the billion of times downloaded.

Smart phone has Global positioning system and map which has help to driver and if we have to lose anything way, we will use it. Smart phone can send and receive email, if we would like alter email content, smart phone will do it.

And, we can use application download talk software to smart phone, for example, line, what app, and we chat. It is not only sending message but also use more and more picture.

Finally, smart phone bring handy life and we receive quick information, therefore, nowadays smart phone is important to most smart phone user, because it is assimilated into their life.

3 個解答

評分
  • 8 年前
    最佳解答

    In the past, people only used cell phones for calling and sending messages, but

    nowadays, smart phones have far more functions than old cell phones, it has

    almost turned into a mini computer. The smart phones today have functions such as the internet, games, Global Positioning System, email, television, and other

    applications. There are also different applications for different software for people

    to download.

    Smart phones have interesting functions that previous phones do not have.

    People can use game applications on their phones when they are bored. ( not sure about the friendly part). For example, Angry Bird is one of the many game

    applications that helps people kill time.

    (add transition from last paragraph to this paragraph) Smart phone also has GPS

    and map that help people find their ways when they get lost. (transition)

    People can check their emails with their smart phones, including sending,

    receiving, and editing their emails.

    Smart phones also has applications that allow people to communicate. Examples

    of these applications include LINE, What App, and We Chat. These applications

    not only allow people to send messages, but also allow us to send pictures.

    Finally, smart phones bring more convenience to daily life because it allow

    people to look up information more quickly. Therefore, smart phones are becoming

    more popular and more important because it has already become part of people's

    life.

    *There might be some mistakes that I am not aware of in this passage.

    Be sure to use either people or us through out the whole essay so it is more

    consistent. Also, it is better to add a separate introduction and conclusion

    paragraph to make the essay look fuller. Be sure to have an "end" to each

    paragraph so you don't suddenly jump from one topic to another. I added some

    phrases that weren't in your original essay. Go ahead and delete it if you don't

    want them.

    Hope this helps!

  • 8 年前

    我了解需要修改的地方很多...

    可以講一下,就一般口語跟簡單文章為出發點的話。

  • 8 年前

    文法、時態有很多需要修正的,句型和思維也大多是台式發想,老實說要改的地方太多了..

    就看你的標準在哪

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