Mouse 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 7 年前

初級英檢「悲劇」作文 QQ

請幫我改改下面英文錯誤的地方 ..

請告訴我應該怎樣寫會比較順暢 ..

滿分五分這樣寫大概可以拿幾分?

Yesterday was Jenny ' s birthday but nobody remember this matter .

No one gave her a birthday gift , birthday cake and celebrated .

Jenny was very sad so she went outside to ate lunch own one .

She came back in one five .

The office is no one person and it is very dark and quiet .

Suddenly , the light is bright !

Everyone singing the birthday song for her .

Now , Jenny is very happy .

謝謝英檢高手相助 :-)

已更新項目:

黑白交界:

感恩這位大大囉:-)

我只會看會聽但是就是寫的方面差 .. 到爆炸

背了一堆單字啊(顫抖)

總而言之,書到用時方恨少QQ

2 個已更新項目:

黑白交界:

謝謝你

我誠心感謝囉 ^__

3 個已更新項目:

拜託請路過的想要回答的都回答在「所有回答」

要不然我無法終結這個問題啊啊啊啊啊啊(回音~

4 個已更新項目:

黑白交界:

你實在是一個有趣的人啊 ^___^

謝謝囉~

3 個解答

評分
  • 7 年前
    最佳解答

    Yesterday was Jenny ' s birthday(逗號,) but nobody remember(ed) this matter .

    No one gave her a birthday gift(免空格), birthday cake and(改成or) celebrated(這個字本身有"有名的"的意義,怪怪的,建議celebration) .

    Jenny was very sad(逗號啊大大,) so she went outside to ate(to後面接原型eat) lunch own one(這啥東東=_=?on her own) .

    2013-07-26 21:27:45 補充:

    She came back in(at) one five .

    The office is(過去式was) no one person(贅字,建議整句改"There was no one in the office")

    and it is(過去式啊啊啊was) very dark and quiet .

    Suddenly , the light(加s,辦公室不只一盞燈吧?) is bright !(標準中式英文,建議改"Suddenly, the lights lit up.")

    2013-07-26 22:05:52 補充:

    Everyone (is) singing the birthday song for her .

    Now(刪) , Jenny is(was) very happy(yesterday) .

    ****

    (給分的話,我可能只給1.5分......)

    首先,我不用回答而用意見,是因為我的修改不夠精闢。

    問題約有這些:

    ●標點符號使用與否

    ●時態(一般作文用過去式及可,動詞辯話要注意)

    ●用字(單字、單複數)

    ●取材平凡沒關係(初級這樣就差不多了),但錯誤頻繁,會造成閱讀者負面觀感

    2013-07-26 22:07:27 補充:

    啊哈哈,剛好斷線,補上最後一段......

    措詞太嚴厲了,先說聲sorry~

    總之,意見僅供參考。總而言之,請多加油啦XDD

    2013-07-26 22:09:48 補充:

    不好意思,第三個意見的第一行:

    Everyone (is) singing the birthday song for her .

    is改成was...

    打字太快沒注意到:)

    2013-07-29 21:29:32 補充:

    那......我就厚臉皮的把意見稍做修改成答案來回答囉......

    __________

    Yesterday was Jenny ' s birthday, but nobody rememberedthis matter (tthis matter改it) .

    No one gave her abirthday gift, birthday cake and(改成or) celebrated(這個字本身有"有名的"的意義,怪怪的,建議celebration).

    Jenny was very sad, so she went outside to ate(to後面接原型eat) lunch own one(這啥東東=_=?on her own) . She came back in(改成at) one five .

    The office is(過去式was) no one person(贅字,建議整句改"There was no one in the office")

    and it is(過去式啊啊啊was) very dark and quiet .

    Suddenly , thelight(加s,辦公室不只一盞燈吧?) is bright !(標準中式英文,建議改"Suddenly, the lights lit up.") Everyone (was)singing the birthday song for her .

    Now(刪) , Jenny is(改was) very happy (加yesterday) .

    ****

    (給分的話,我可能只給1.5分......)

    問題約有這些:

    ●標點符號使用與否

    ●時態(一般作文用過去式及可,動詞辯話要注意)

    ●用字(單字、單複數)

    ●取材平凡沒關係(初級這樣就差不多了),但錯誤頻繁,會造成閱讀者負面觀感

    相望有幫上忙囉^^

    2013-07-29 21:30:15 補充:

    打錯字=__=..

    希望有幫上忙^^

    (不好意思我不太能容忍錯字......)

    參考資料: 愛看書的自己
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  • 7 年前

    感謝樓上大大的意見:>

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  • 匿名使用者
    7 年前

    Yesterday was Jenny ' s birthday, but nobody remembered it(或this).

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