英文文章修改問題(港)

Book : Les Miserables

The writer took almost 40 years to design this legend. It is so incredible......

The leading man life is really ever-changing...

He was caught and thrown in jail just for he stole a loaf of bread.

In the jail , he learned how to hate the world , and how to hate the persons who around him...

There was no God in his heart , but Satan...

After he got freedom , he was discriminated by anyone...

One day, he met a priest. Since the day , everything has changed...

After working hard , he was elected mayor finally.

The story told us one thing. That is "Starting with a clean slate is never too late."

As long as you can , you will find out that the world is very very great , filled with happiness , laughter and bliss! These are so precious!

我自己打的,可能很多文法錯誤><" 能請大大們幫忙修一下嗎,謝謝您們了!

備註:

Starting with a clean slate v.改过自新,言归于好,重新开始

turn over a new leaf 也有改過自新的意思

已更新項目:

As long as you can

其實我要說的是"只要你肯"

As long as you are willing to see ??

又或著...?

2 個已更新項目:

As long as you are willing to see , you will find out that the world is fabulous, filled with happiness, laughter and bliss. These are so precious!

這樣呢?

3 個已更新項目:

還有一個小問題

Since then , everything had changed.

為什麼要用 had ??

我用has ...

4 個已更新項目:

所以 As long as you are willing to see , you will find out that the world is fabulous, filled with happiness, laughter and bliss. These are so precious!

可以囉??

自己弄得覺得可以@@"

抱歉問題有點多....

一看到就問...

如果讓您覺得很煩,真的很抱歉.....

1 個解答

評分
  • 8 年前
    最佳解答

    # 盡量保持原文,只改文法和不通之處。

    The writer took almost 40 years to write out this absolutely brilliant plot. It is so incredible!

    The leading man’s life is really ever-changing.

    He was caught and thrown in jail just for that he stole a loaf of bread.

    In the jail, he learned how to hate the world and the people around him.

    There was no God in his heart, but Satan.

    After he got his freedom, he was discriminated by everyone.

    One day, he met a priest. Since then, everything had changed.

    After working hard, he was elected the mayor finally.

    The story told us one thing: Starting with a clean slate is never too late.

    As far as you can see, the world is fabulous, filled with happiness, laughter and bliss. These are so precious!

    2013-08-20 15:29:46 補充:

    因為你是在複述故事的內容,通常這樣就會用 reported speech,例如原本 present perfect tense (has changed)的會寫成 past perfect tense (had changed)

    2013-08-20 17:13:17 補充:

    可以。

    這句不是在複述故事的內容,只是你的感想,所以不用 reported speech

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