[20點] 我寫了幾段英文需要英文高手幫我看哪裡錯
以下是我自己寫的英文句子
但由於我英文還不夠好，有很多地方我不知道是否文法或單字有寫錯
請幫我糾正
每句下面的中文是我想傳達的意思
# After work,
coming home
下班後，回到家
But feel more tired at home
但是回到家感覺更勞累
# made this home,
on your own
你靠自己扛起 (建構起) 這個家
( 這裡我是想傳達 扛起組織起這個家庭 而非真正的蓋房子 )
couldn’t do you really want
沒辦法做你想做的事
# is it right,
is it wrong
是對的嗎? 是錯的嗎?
it won’t be matter any more
已經不再重要
it have no more tears to cry
已經沒有淚水可以哭泣了
All the things you keeping trust have gone so far
所有你一直相信的事已經離開很遠了
You Decided to write all of your life down
你決定把你的人生寫下來
you devoted all of you
你貢獻了你的一切
you have given everything
你付出了所有
you did for your family
你為你的家庭付出
and paid all the dreams of you
而賠上你的所有夢想
you sad for wasting time
你為浪費時間而難過
but it seem have to do
但似乎必須這麼做
you stop and look back
你停下腳步回頭一看
your life just like a dream
你的人生像是一場夢
如果有錯需要更改，盡量字數不要改變太多
尤其是上面第一三五句有打井字號的
因為有照個格式寫的
謝謝，感激不盡!!!
4 個解答
- 幻星Lv 57 年前最佳解答
# After work,
you come home.
下班後，回到家
(這句沒有主詞，雖然看後面就知道是you，有會比較完整，畢竟後面那句也沒有主詞)
but feel even more tired at home/after arriving home.
但是回到家感覺更勞累
To support/buttress this home,
on your own
你靠自己扛起 (建構起) 這個家
( 這裡我是想傳達 扛起組織起這個家庭 而非真正的蓋房子 )
,you couldn't do what you really want.
沒辦法做你想做的事
>>what不能省略
>>這兩句有因果關係，所以用to不定詞，表示in order to
Is it right, or is it wrong?
是對的嗎? 是錯的嗎?
It won't matter any more,
已經不再重要
(because)having no more tears to cry/ running out of tears,
已經沒有淚水可以哭泣了
and all the things you've trusted having gone afar
(so far沒有錯，但是聽上去不好)
所有你一直相信的事已經離開很遠了
>>一直相信不能直譯keep trusting
>>keep trusting 是指說一直在相信，和本句意思不符
>>以上三句是一句因果句，所以用分詞方式呈現，維持句意
You decide to write your life down.
你決定把你的人生寫下來
>>all of your life>>表示他已經活到人生的盡頭了?
如果你要寫all of your life or your whole life，那前面你講的都要改成過去式
you have devoted all of you,
你貢獻了你的一切
you have given everything
你付出了所有
out for your family,
你為你的家庭付出
>>這兩句你付出所有，後面又家庭付出
>>所以寫成一句比較好
and it costs all the dreams of yours/all of your dreams.
all the dreams of you(X)
而賠上你的所有夢想
(pay這個是相對主動，cost則是相對被動，由你句意來看cost 比較好)
Being sad for wasting your time (seems unnecessary)
你為浪費時間而難過
, though it seems (to be) unavoidable
但似乎必須這麼做
>>it seems to have to do(文法對但是我想外國人不會這樣講)
>>it seems that you have to do(或上面用形容詞那句)
>>與前面那句為同一句，所以用分詞，不用but，用though表示語氣轉折
>>這兩句在英文上不夠確切，所以(seems unnecessary)應該是省略的部分
可以的話還是寫出來。
Stopping and looking back,
你停下腳步回頭一看
= as you stop and look back
you'll realize life is just like a dream.
你的人生像是一場夢
>>your life is just like a dream感覺和前句連不起來
2013-09-08 23:08:19 補充：
it doesn't matter any more(純粹講不在重要)
it won't matter anymore(過去對你很重要，但是以後不在重要了)
如:
I used to care about you, but since you cheated on me, from now on, you won't matter to me anymore.
兩者表達其實是不太一樣的意思
看你要講哪個意思
2013-09-08 23:09:35 補充：
沒有but才對
2013-09-08 23:13:56 補充：
You have devoted all of you,第一個You 要大寫
登入以對解答發表意見
- 妤德Lv 67 年前
After work,
I came home
下班後，回到家
But feeling more tired at home
但是回到家感覺更勞累
Support this home,
on your own
你靠自己扛起 (建構起) 這個家
( 這裡我是想傳達 扛起組織起這個家庭 而非真正的蓋房子 )
Can't do what you really want
沒辦法做你想做的事
Is it right?
Is it wrong?
是對的嗎? 是錯的嗎?
It doesn't matter any more
已經不再重要
Already have no more tears to cry
已經沒有淚水可以哭泣了
All the things you keep trusting have gone so far
所有你一直相信的事已經離開很遠了
You decided to write down all of your life
你決定把你的人生寫下來
You devoted everything
你貢獻了你的一切
You have given everything
你付出了所有
You devoted for your family
你為你的家庭付出
And paid all the dreams you had
而賠上你的所有夢想
You are sad for wasting time
你為浪費時間而難過
But it seems you have to do it
但似乎必須這麼做
You stop and look back
你停下腳步回頭一看
Your life is just like a dream
你的人生像是一場夢
以上是修改過的文章，請參考看看，有疑問歡迎跟我說呦～：））
參考資料： 我自己的英文經驗！！！- 登入以對解答發表意見
- 7 年前
After work I came home
But feel more tiring at home
you build this home yourself
What you want is not allowed
it doesn`t matter any more
there is no tears for crying
All you have tursted went far
You decited to write down your story
you devoted what you have
you have given everything
you did everything for your family
and lose all your dream
your sorry for the wasteing time
but it seems to be done
you stop and look back
your life just like a dream
- 登入以對解答發表意見
