匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 7 年前

請英文高手幫我審閱一下自傳

麻煩各位英文高手幫我審閱一下

是否文法用詞有錯誤 還請各位高手不藏步

因為是企業公司需要的 所以非常重要

小弟在此在謝謝各位英文高手指點

My name is xxx. i'm 22 years old. i'm from kaohsiung in Taiwan.

There are 4 people in my family, my dad , mom , my young brother and me.

My dad is a businessman, and my mother is a housewife. I graduated from

XXXXX university and my major was in Department of Mechanical Engineering .

During college i was an associator of the guitar club, After graduating , i serving in Honda Cars, I position engine department, l realized that repairs and maintenance are important, the engineer work that me become a responsible person. i always try to finish should i do in my shift. i am an optimistic and honest young man. and i hoping i cloud be the member of xxxxxx, to be a xxxxxxx and to do the best of my ability,thanks, i do wish that you could give me a chance to prove therm.

2 個解答

評分
  • 7 年前
    最佳解答

    已修正如下,有問題請提出。

    My name is xxx, 22 years old, come from Kaohsiung in City of Taiwan.There are 4 people persons in my family, including my dad, mom, my a younger brother and me I.

    My dad is a businessman, and my mother is a housewife, and I graduated from the XXXXX University, and my major was in Department of Mechanical Engineering. During the college I was an associator of the guitar club, after graduation , I serving was working in the engine department of the Honda Cars Co., I position engine department, from my work, l realized that repairs and maintenance are very important, and I always try to finish what should I should do for that day in my shift, the engineer repairing work that made me become a patient and responsible person also. I always try to finish should do f in my shift.

    I am As an optimistic and honest young man. and I hope that I cloud could have an opportunity to be a xxxxxx of the member of xxxxxx to be a xxxxxxx and to do the best of devote my ability to the company, thanks, and I do wish that you could give me a chance to prove them it. Thank you very much for your attention.

    2013-09-23 15:52:49 補充:

    修正

    During the college請改為

    During the period of college

    2013-09-23 15:57:11 補充:

    句前請加and 1字

    (and) the engineer repairing work that made me become a patient and responsible person also.

  • 7 年前

    My name is xxx. I am 22 year old man from kaohsiung, Taiwan.

    There are 4 people in my family, my father, mother, my young brother and me.

    My father is a businessman, and my mother is a housewife. I graduated from

    XXXXX university with a bachelor degree in Mechanical Engineering. I was an associator of the guitar clubin college. After graduating, I worked in egine department of Honda. Through this working experience, l realized that repairs and maintenance are essential. Moreover, it helped me become a responsible person. I always attempt to accomplish my duty. As an optimistic and honest young man, I hope become to be part of xxxxxx to make the company and other people's lives better with the best of my ability. Please give me a chance to prove them. Thank you.

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