美女 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 6 年前

英文作文修改

Horrifying traffic accident experience

Three years ago, I went tojoined the kindergarten graduation ceremony

when rode my motorbike on the way Unfortunately, another car

crashed me lied down on the road then we are waiting for the ambulance to come.

That's my first time in the surgery, I spent whole time in the hospital on summer

vocation. During the surgery without a good slept and act inconvenience must

rely on walking aids to walk that made me felt physical and mental suffering about

few months .My mother always stay in the my side to take care of me and she's

worry about me. She's really hope to be healthy

(in the short time/as soon as possible),me too.

This accident involved in the lawsuits. The judge conclusive judgement him

Offenses of Causing Bodily Harm with Negligence 過失傷害罪

Before these I don't know what to do so I surf the net

to find out and ask legal adviser /consultant about this accident relation law/ rule

questions and proved of my certificate including the pictures which the

vehicle camera I had learned a lot of knowledge from this accident of the law.

Actully he drove on inside way and went to turn right but he didn't pay

too much attention my motorbike and kept moving forward

made me injuryed in the traffic accident .

Finally, this event let me know a good health body and faimily love both are

very important things until today I still remember in my mind.

1 個解答

評分
  • 6 年前
    最佳解答

    A horrifying traffic accident experience

    Three years ago, one day when I was riding a motorbike went to joined the a kindergarten graduation ceremony, when rode my motorbike on the way unfortunately, another a car

    crashed hit me so that I fell down and lied lay down on the road, then consequently the car driver and I we are were staying at the site waiting for the ambulance to come.

    1.第二行 another car ,除非您也是開車,否則不能說”另一輛車.2.a car crash me, crash 撞得粉碎.扭曲如墜機、車撞硬物如電線桿、牆等,用來形容人被車撞,不是很合適。3.lie 說謊 lied lied, lie躺 lay lain.

    That's my first time in the to have a surgery, I spent whole time summer vocation in the hospital on summer vocation. During After the surgery, I couldn’t get without a good slept and act convenience I must inconveniently relied on walking aids to walk, that which made me felt suffer physically and mentally suffering about few months .My mother always stayed in at the my side to take care of me and she's very worry about me. She's really hoping that I could recover my health quickly to be healthy (in the short time/as soon as possible),and me too.

    1. 無法好睡,用助行器應是在手術後。2. that made me suffer ,此處之that為關係代名詞,依文法 此字,不可用於非限定用法,即此字前不可有逗點,因此改為which.3.as soon as possible 儘可能的快,用在病情的恢復上,並不合適,因病人對病情的恢復,沒有主導力。

    This accident involved in the a lawsuits. The judge concluded the judgement that him the driver committed “Offenses of Causing Bodily Harm with Negligence” 過失傷害罪.

    Before these the sentence, I didn’t know what to do, so I surfed the Net to find out and asked legal adviser /consultant questions about this accident’s related laws/ rules questions and proved of my certificate evidences including the pictures which of the vehicle camera, I had learned a lot of knowledge from this accident of the related laws.1. Lawsuit 是首次提及,應使用不定冠詞,定冠詞用於讀者本來就熟知、應知或前面有提過,後面再次提時,在本文,有車禍但訴訟未必發生,因此不是讀者熟知或應知的情況。2. proved of me certificate including the pictures which the vehicle camera, 我不了解真正的意思,但文字明顯有誤,因此我做了修改。

    2013-11-07 14:58:18 補充:

    The truth is he was driving on the inside of the way and wanting to turn right but because he didn't pay much attention to me and kept moving forward, as a result, that made me injured badly .

    go to turn right 此表達法是有問題的,因turn right就是動作,並不必再加go to。

    2013-11-07 14:58:53 補充:

    Finally, this event lets me realize a healthy body and family’s love both are very important, until today, I still keep it in my mind.

    1.Know “知道”在此句的場合上,並不合適,realize “領悟”、”了解”語意才過強,因健康、家人,就算再無知,也會知道它的重要性,只是平常大多數的人都有點麻木而已。

    2.Remember , keep in mind 記住,使用remember, 直接寫 remember it就已表達。

    2013-11-07 14:59:03 補充:

    3.A good health body, 沒有這様的說法,應改為 a healthy body 或 a body with good health.

    2013-11-09 10:40:13 補充:

    Dear 美女,

    有問題,可以經由知識家的電子郵件送來給我。謝愉快順心。

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