NG
Lv 7
NG 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 6 年前

英文幾段句子批改~

一句諺語說,"天下沒有不散的筵席"

我會珍惜與她的回憶,

隨著時間的流逝,心情越來越穩定,

在營區,我利用閒暇時間讀書,因為我希望我的未來可以改變

There is a saying goes that "All good things come to an end."

I will cherish the memory with her.

As time goes by my mood is getting more and more calm.

In camp, I used free time studying, because I wish that I may change my feture.

-------------------

麻煩各位幫我看一下有沒有寫不好的地方,謝謝

3 個解答

評分
  • Beth
    Lv 7
    6 年前
    最佳解答

    一句諺語說,"天下沒有不散的筵席".

    There is a saying goes that "All good things come to an end."

    → There is a saying that/which goes, "All good things must come to an end."

    1. 寫作的話, 建議你還是要加上 which 或是 that 文法才正確.

    2. 加上must語意比較完整.

    我會珍惜與她的回憶.

    I will cherish the memoryies with her.

    隨著時間的流逝,心情越來越穩定.

    As time goes by, my mood(or mind) is getting more and more calmcalmer and calmer.

    在營區,我利用閒暇時間讀書,因為我希望我的未來可以改變.

    In camp base, I used free time studying,

    橘色這句有點中式英文. 中文「利用閒暇時間」或是「用閒暇時間」其實是把握時間做某些事情, 而不是「使用閒暇時間」. 當你用use 當成句子主要動詞時, 這句話沒有加上 all 來強調, 聽起來有點沒有意義, 因為你當然是使用閒暇時間才能讀書, 其他時間當然沒有時間讀書. 但是如果你把主要動詞改成 study意義就不一樣: I studied in my free time. 才比較符合你中文的意思. 甚至你可以改成現在完成式和後面的目的作連結:

    I have studied hard in my free time in order to make a difference to my future. (這句沒加上類似 hard 的副詞, 語意也是不夠完整, 不是隨隨便便念一念就可以)

    I studied whenever I have free time, ...

    I studied whenever I am free, ...

    I took every oppotunity to study, ...

    甚至可以用未來式,

    I will spend (all) my free time (on) studying (instead of thinking of her) to make a difference to my future.

    寫法很多種, 直接用英文寫出你要表達的想法, 就是千萬不要先寫出中文再來翻譯, 這樣英文會越學越奇怪. 而且你會發現明明很簡單的句子, 就是翻譯不出來中文那樣的意思.

    because I wish that I may change my future.

    這句這樣寫可以, 只是很 wordy.

    because I wish that I may 可以直接變成 in order to 或是 to 就好了.

    意見區的 prisoner 那句非常好. (to make a difference to my future)

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  • 6 年前

    1.結構有些鬆散-前2句 與後2句 看起來沒有關連

    2.標點符號少了一些1,3句少了逗逗.

    3."my memory" or "my memories"

    4. calmer

    5. 第四句:

    On the military base, I used all my free time studying, in hope to make a difference to my future.

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  • 6 年前

    最後一句單字有打錯 是 "future"

    然後第一句其實前面 打 As the saying goes 會比較順

    and memory 應該要複數~ by 後面加 " , "

    參考資料: 自己+翻譯
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