映丞 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 5 年前

可以請大家幫我看看這篇英文文章哪邊可以改進的嗎?

During University entrance Exam and after entering College

Time pass quickly, it is already the end of the semester, I can still remember thefirst day I came to the English Department, It just like it happened yesterday, I enter to university a year later than the graduating students,

the exam for the university is an arduous challenge for me that time,

because I had to work at the daytime,he only time I can study is at night,

I haven’t feel that prim and diligent before, but also feel very weary too,

I wanted to abscond and disentangle from the study so many

time because the fatigue, but I didn’t and get through,

maybe its my family incessant give me encourage all the time I was striving,

thanks for them that I never feel doleful or morose, and then the time had came.

After the exam, I waited for the admission notice,then when I got it,

the bondage on me had been disentangled, I feel so happy at that time,

then when I start to attend school, the whole English ambience frighten me,

but I believe that this ambience can be the catalyst for me at learning English, this ambience can notice me don’t slapdash treat the English department, take seriousness any time.

During all the time I had really learn a lot, I think the most paramount is that family’s encourage is the biggest power to a person when he is inanimate, it can

rectify a fluster person to lucid,

it can help the person to think clearly what he was really striving for.

3 個解答

評分
  • 5 年前
    最佳解答

    已修正如下,有不妥處,請自行再修正。

    The time whenDuring attending the exam for university entrance Exam and after entering studying in the college

    Time passes quickly, it is already the end of the semester, I can still can vividly remember the first day I came to the English Department, It just that liked it just happened yesterday, I entered to the university a year later than the other graduated students, the exam for entering the university is was an arduous challenge for me that time, because I had to work at the daytime, the only time I can could study is was at night nighttime.

    I hadn’t felt that prim and diligent before, but also felt very weary too, I wanted to abscond and disentangle from the study so many times because of the fatigue, but I didn’t and got through finally, maybe it’s my family incessantly gave me encouragement all the time when I was striving, thanks for them for that they helped I me never feel doleful or morose, and then the time had came.

    After the exam, I was waiting for the admission notice, then when I got it,

    the bondage on me had been was disentangled right away, I felt so happy at that time,

    then when I started to attend the school, the whole English ambience frightened me,

    but I believed that this ambience can could be the catalyst for me at when learning English, this ambience can could notice me that didn’t slapdash treat the English department, and take seriousness any time.

    During all the time I had really learnt a lot, I think the most paramount is that family’s encouragement which is the biggest greatest power to a person when he the person is inanimate perplexed, it can rectify a fluster person to be lucid, it and can help the person to think clearly about what he was really striving for.

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  • 5 年前

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  • 5 年前

    Punctuation mark usage is very wrong. I think you need to correct them first.

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