Coexist666 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 4 年前

懇請英文達人幫忙看看這篇讀書計畫有無錯誤 20點 感謝

這篇是要申請加拿大簽證附的讀書計畫,由於我的英文實在是文法太差,

很害怕送出後因為錯誤太多被退件,能不能麻煩英文好的網友們看看,

如果哪裡有錯誤的話,真的非常感謝,點數都不足以我的感謝之心。

Dear officer :

I’ve made this study plan also submitted as my application for a student permit to study in Vancouver’s Lasalle collage, with an overview of my plan for one year’s study, hope it’s helps the application being more clear.

My name is xxx from Taiwan, been working for 2 clothing shops in Taiwan as a sales and manager for 4 years, at 2013 I started to travel, I’ve improve my English and I realized that I need to improve my skills for my fashion Career to go further.

I’ve searched many schools from oversea with an English speaking environment , Canada considered as a safe, international, also got good reputation of educate system country in all, Lasalle collage has good technology in fashion courses, good location that I can enjoy to spend my whole year in great nature and experience different culture. From one year’s study, I could improve the skills I need for my career so that I could come back to my country to extend my career with higher positions.

In this year, I hope I can acquire my management knowledge, great understanding of how fashion industry works from details, also improve my English to be able can perfectly use for working in fashion industry with a good position in the future.

I was helping my family to run several hostel and accommodations in Taiwan since 2013, as part of my duty, after study in Canada, I will have to come back to help them. also I have a project with friends to create a studio which include styling, editing, design in Taiwan, so I look forward be back to work in fashion industry when I finish my studies.

thank you for spending times to read my letter,

your sincerely.

4 個解答

評分
  • 4 年前
    最佳解答

    Dear officerSirs: (以職位來稱呼對方並不合宜,使用Sirs較有禮貌)

    I’ve had made this study plan also and submittedit as my application materialfor the permit for a student permit to study in Vancouver’s Lasalle collage, with an the overviewof my plan for one year’s study in Canada, hoping it’s will helps the application being more clear.

    My name is xxx come from Taiwan, have been working for 2 clothing shops in Taiwan asa sales and manager for 4 years, at in 2013 I started to travel, I’ve improved my English and I realized that Ineed to improve my related skills for my fashioncareer to go further.

    I’ve had been searching for manyoverseas schools from oversea which with an English speaking environments , Canada is considered as a safe, international, also got with a good reputation of education system country inall, Lasalle collage has good technologiesin fashion courses, good location, so that I canenjoy to spendingmy a whole year in the great nature and experiencingthe different culture. From this one year’s study, I wish that I could improve the skills which I need for my career jobs, so thatthen I could come back to my country to extendmy career with totake the higher positions.

    In this theyear, I hope I can acquire my the necessary management knowledge, a greatunderstanding of how a fashion industry working from in details, also at the sametime, to improve my English to beable can toperfectly use for succeed in working in fashion industry with in agood position in the future.

    I was have beenhelping my family to run several hostelsand accommodations in Taiwan since 2013, as which isa part of my duties,after studying in Canada, I will have to come back to help them again.also I have a project with my friends to createa studio which includes styling, editing and design in Taiwan, so I amlooking forward tobe going backto work in fashion industry when I finish my studies.

    Thank you for spending times to read examine my application.

    Yours sincerely.

    2015-07-17 10:54:31 補充:

    My name is xxx come from Taiwan, have been working(如此此工作目前仍持續,使用現在完成進行式,如是過去的經驗,則使用過去完成進行式,had been working ) for 2 clothing shops in Taiwan

  • 4 年前

    Immigration office also have "immigration officer" indeed.

  • 4 年前

    是給移民局的長官審核用的,不知道該用什麼稱呼會比較合適

  • 匿名使用者
    4 年前

    officer 是警官或軍官

    讀書計畫不需給這兩種人審核

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