1.A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and shouts, "Ketchup!"
2.A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
3. A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told
him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her
a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he
called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that
they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing
the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer,
he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
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