yueya 發問時間: 社會與文化語言 · 4 年前

有人可以幫我改這篇作文嗎?

英文不好想練習又沒人改

麻煩各位大大了

James waked up earlier than ever to prepare for staffs that will be used to go mountain climbing in the morning . He had already plan this trip for a mouth . It is not a common trip , but a trip with his girlfriend ! His girlfriend , Amy , who is the most charming girl in the world can always bring him warm . He was thinking about thing coming trip with her when he picked up things to his backpack . As a result , he did not find that something is missing .

Three hours latter , James and Amy almost climbed to the tip of the mountain . The weather still was sunny and the sunshine made everywhere of the sky clean . However , after they finished their simple lunch , everything turned different .

The beautiful sky was covered by dark clouds and rainfall coming . They both were confused about why will rain . James especially remember that he saw the weather forecast yesterday . No matter what , it was not important that if he saw the wrong forecast or not . Because they had big trouble now ─ James did not bring umbrella !

In the end , this trip ended of disappointed , they both catch a cold . They might think about changing the place they go on a trip next time .

1 個解答

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  • 4 年前
    最佳解答

    Error&correction about "Moon-Shone":-

    An Attempt to Answer Only, as your method is different from mine.

    Past perfect tense might be used to say something that happened on the past.We use the past perfect to say that something had already happened before this time.

    eg;-When they arrived at the top of Mt. they had already having much rain and gone wet through.

    All corrections are in Brackets eg:-(-----);

    ----James waked up earlier than (usual) to prepare for (stuffs) that (would) be used to go mountain climbing in the morning.He( had )already

    (planned) this trip for a ( month) because it was an uncommon trip with his girl friend Amy who (was) the most charming girl in the world,bringing him warm,emotion,pleasure,passion according to her good nature and mood. He (had thought) about things coming( up) when he (packed) things (into)his (sachet bag). As a result, he did not (realised) that something was missing.

    ------Three hours later, James&Amy (had) almost (climbed) to the( top) of the mountain. The weather was still sunny&the sunshine had made a clear,( blue sky)(under the open). However, after they (had finished)(the)lunch, everything (turned differently).

    ------The beautiful sky-blue (was covered) by dark clouds (everywhere)& the rainfall (came pouring).They (were) both (confused in a confused manner) about why the weather would change so (suddenly)&(rained so heavily). James (recalled) that he (had seen) the weather forecast yesterday that it was (fine& cloudless without rain). It was not important(whatever) the forecast (were), (however) , they had (a)big trouble (then) that they did not bring (an) umbrella !

    ------In the end,(the)trip(ended in disappointment & disaster). They had both (caught) a cold ! They might think about changing (their)place (on anothe)trip next time (as the weather might be changeable and likely to alter.)

    • yueya4 年前檢舉

      Thank you very much . I am a student from Taiwan . I am not good at writing English composition . You really give me a big help .

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