匿名使用者
匿名使用者 發問時間: 社會及文化語言 · 1 個月前

 請幫忙看看英文文法有沒有錯!!?

以下是cover letter的其中一個內容, 請幫忙看看文法有沒有錯!! 謝謝大家!!!

I tried to enroll in some courses and found that I am interested in accounting so that I have pursued further education and obtained the XXX Certificate. I believe that what I have learned can be applies for this position.

I am a conscientious person who works hard and pays attention to detail. I would be much appreciated if you could consider my application and grant me an interview at your convenience. I am looking forward to your reply.

已更新項目:

第一段全文應該是這樣...

As you will see from my resume (enclosed), I have worked as a XX for 5 years. But I cannot see any solid growth prospects of this industry from my on-going observation. Accordingly, I tried to enroll in some courses and found that I am interested in accounting so that I have pursued further education and obtained the XX Certificate. I believe that what I have learned can be applied for this position. 

2 個已更新項目:

謝謝大家, 如第一段改成這樣好嗎?

As you will see from my resume (enclosed), I have worked as a XX for 5 years, but I cannot see any solid growth prospects of this industry from my on-going observation. Therefore, I am determined to change career, in the hope that I can be more job opportunities in different varieties while still young.

For this reason, I tried to enroll in some courses and found that I am interested in accounting, so I have pursued further education and obtained the XXX

6 個解答

評分
  • 1 個月前
    最佳解答

    1.cover letter所應該寫的要點是:指出求職者正面的特點適應職缺的需求與對公司的聊解.雖然可以引用求職者謙虛向上的態度,虛無的詞語卻是人云亦云,毫無建樹可言.只有反效果.

    2.5年之後,你看出XX事業沒有前途?到不如說你被YY事業的充滿希望與機會(一定要列出)所吸引.要是你不舉例列出一些機會,就會  過於虛幻.

    3.少用"I tried ..."而該用"I have done..."

    4.所以,我幫你改寫第一段如下:

    My below enclosed resume will show you that I have had diversified experiences in XX and YY areas, including five years of ZZZ responsibilities. Along these years, I also had the pleasure exploring AAA and found its tremendous potentials that Wall Street Journals claimed to have USD3B per year at 2025 in USA alone.  Therefore, I have determined to take on the change in switching to this career.  Nonetheless, I don't make the jump without preparation.

    In the past two years, I enrolled in five accounting classes and have obtained BBB certifications.  Also, I expect to finish CCC by the end of this year to complete my short term plan.

  • 1 個月前

    第一段 肯定效果不好 

    你覺得 你現在的職業 沒有前途 ,而想換個跑道,就去念 會計課程(而且不是 正規大學會計系學歷,而是 一種 上完發給結業證書的課程) ,而覺得 會計課程所學的好像在現實社會很有用,而來應徵貴公司了

  • YIP
    Lv 7
    1 個月前

    As you will see from my resume (enclosed), I have worked as a Mechanic for 5 years, but I cannot see any solid growth prospects of this industry from my on-going observation. Therefore, I have determined to change career, in the hope that I can have other choices in different fields while still young.

    For this reason, I tried to enroll in some courses and found that I am interested in accounting, so I have pursued further education and obtained the certificate of accountant.

  • 1 個月前

    Dear Sir,

    -----As I have been graduated from National Taiwan University with a chartered accountant degree on certified public accountant, I (xxx) have further my studies in accountancy professionally in English Tsai's "Professional accountancy school,TW."     and I am seeking for a post as an accountant in your company accordingly "adv(in a suitable manner)".

    -----As you'll see from my enclosed resume that after serving with the industrial XX for 5 solid years previously, I cannot adapt myself to observe any propect there.Therefore I am determined to change career intending to make a job accountancy ,by all accounts, according to what interests me most.

    -----You will be interested to note that I am at present receiving private tuition in French,Japanese,Korean and English.

    ------I enclose a testimonial from my head-mistress, Miss English Tsai (蔡英文) , to whom further reference can be made.

    ------As a conscientious,hardworking, with great effort in accountancy person, I would appreciate if you could consider my application and grant me an interview.

    ------Looking forward to hearing from you.

    --------------------------Yours respectfully,

    -------------------------------(your name)

    ------------------------------------(-------).

    ------------------Error and correction:---------------------

    As you see from my enclosed curriculum vitae resume, that after serving with industrial XX for 5 solid years previously, I cannot observe any propect there.

    For this reason, I tried to enrol lin "interested accountancy" and obtained the diploma to enable me to find a role in your Co. that will enable me to acquire and develop the skills required for an accountancy career.............................................

    Correction on Para one:-

    ----As you will see from my resume(enclosed), I have worked as a XX for 5 years, but I cannot see any solid  growth prospects of this industry from my on-going observation.(Accordingly), I am determined to change career, in the hope that I can (have) more job (varieties) while still young.

    -----For this reason, I tried to enroll in some courses and found that I am interested in accounting, (on any account决不不習学) , so (much so) that I have pursued further (studies) (on it) and obtained the XXX.

    "Give me 20 marks for my birthday and a breakdown of my computer !"

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  • 1 個月前

    假如第一句的重點是你所學跟這個position是good match. 我會這樣寫

    I have been interested in accounting so that I have pursued further education and obtained XXX Certificate. My skill set that I have learned is a good match for this position and allows me to contribute to the success of your team.

    第二句看起來很好. 最後一句可以用現在式. I look forward to your reply.

  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    1 個月前

    首先說說一些(用詞)"錯處":

    1. 

    so that 是用錯詞語的意思,因為so that的前後是前因和直接後果的關係,例如:I take the "XXX" exam so that I can become a qualified lawyer/accountant. 意思是你要成為合資格的專業律師/會計師你便要"考這種試"(並且含意是要"合格",但寫句時不用寫出來,因為正常人都會明白"考合格"so that"成為合資格")

    但你的句意是你"對accounting有興趣"之後的"讀多些相關課程"甚至去"考專業試"或"證書"並不是so that。最多只是由於你對X有興趣,so(因此/於是)你接下來會去學。

    2.

    can be applies 要改正 can be applied被動動詞是要寫成past participle過去分詞。

    3. 

    I am ... who works hard and pays 要改正 who work hard and pay ...

    "你"是第一身,動詞不用加"s",這些似乎是基本文法/學習缺陷。

    接下來看看用詞理解:

    Accordingly,看不出意思來,唯有用"中文"來理解,可能你的想法是"有見及此"/"於是"...

    但accordingly用於一句開裏已經少見,這字本要具體地指明前文或後文所according依據的是甚麼,不是廣泛的副詞,若你按文法這accordingly所指的動詞是甚麼?tried to enroll的tried"嘗試了"就是你按照你說的前文的理由「看不到某行業的前景」而這"嘗試"的動作,意義上很難解通。建議你省掉這個Accordingly的句還算可以。其實我是想說/寫"For this reason,"(前文的觀察所得的原由),你作出下文/句的行動。

    寫法有點"錯",但整體規格編排還可以,所以不作代寫了。

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